Soviet Anecdotes

Popular Anecdotes.


Translated by James von Geldern

Popular humor, reflected in the ever-present anecdotes and jokes so beloved by Soviet citizens, belied the rosy view of Soviet reality reflected in the official press. In anecdotes as a rule, the material hardships suffered by Soviet citizens were ever visible, and by the middle of Brezhnev’s term as Communist Party chief, his leadership was a source of constant ridicule.

One morning at dawn, Brezhnev awoke to see the sun rising. He called out “Good morning, our red sun!”

“Good morning, Leonid Il’ich,” replied the sun, “I wish you new successes for the good of the Motherland.”

At noon Brezhnev stepped outside and saw the sun high in the heavens. He called out “Good afternoon, bright sun!”

“Good afternoon, Leonid Il’ich! I congratulate you on becoming the newest Marshal of the Soviet Union!”

As evening approached, Brezhnev stepped outside and saw the sun going down. He called out, “Good evening, golden sun!”

The sun replied, “Go to hell, you old jackass! I’m in the West now!”

Brezhnev has a meeting with Sophia Loren. He says to her “I am willing to grant you any wish.”

“Please, allow anyone who wishes to leave the Soviet Union.”

“Sophia, you sly little minx, you just want to be alone with me.”

After the Americans have landed on the Moon, Brezhnev calls in his space bosses and says: “The Party and government direct you to land our cosmonauts on the Sun as soon as possible.”

“But the Sun is so hot that you can’t even fly close to it.”

“OK, then you’ll have to launch the rocket at night.”

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