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Pray tell me, how can I not be afraid of flying
When my dear boss, E. B. Izotov,
Aiming to sympathize, pricks like a needle.

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"Oh, you poor guy," - he says
"Even them, in Chicago,
Had a catastrophe three days ago."

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Should have spat: we are all brothers, right?
And there are two us, and not on the safe side, either.
But the devil knows I am all for ventures
Readily off - anyhow, anywhere and on anything.

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No, I am not afraid, a bit tipsy, that is.
And, so I would walk steadily on the ladder,
I train myself while still on earth
Having tightened my belt properly.

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But, thank God, I am not flying off -
Beguiling the time in the airport
Together with a lad, a blood brother.

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We drink the seventh glass this day
For the thought that all of us will land
And hopefully where we intended to.

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So what if there is no carry-out in the restaurant
The radio is silent there - it's heaven.
A concierge will run in and roar: "Who goes to Vilnius?..
It's O.K., have another drink!"

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Flying for me is like sharp knife, a noose
Can't eat, can't drink, can't smoke.
Plus, for further safety of mine
I ought to buckle myself up nicely.

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Near the automatic teller -- it has a heck of a mind!
I stand, smiling dumbly:
The teller has answered me in such terms!

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Unbelievably: here in Yeisk
Almost in European style:
There's freedom of speech - if it's profanity.

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My smart friend started to climb the walls at noon -
They are calling in the SWAT team
He bent the screws of IL-18
And demanded a parachute on the spot.

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I tried to reason with the guy:
Pasha, Pashenka, Pasha, Pashut!
If we a drink a bit more
What good would the chute be, for Pete's sake?

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He explained - his kind don't lie
He flew one time, not buckled up
Suddenly - explosion! But he was ready:

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Found a loophole even here -
Spread his padded jacket
And landed in a flower-bed.

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Was it my flight they called? I wouldn't have stood up -
Now you can't lift me.
I hear: "Passengers for November!
Your flight is postponed until May!"

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Call me what you will
But I would fly by Aeroflot even there:
There it's a quick good-bye and to the sky
Whether you want it or not...

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But here - sit and warm yourself
For there is always a delay -
You will be spared at least a day...

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You will be spared at least a day...