WEBVTT 00:00:00.010 --> 00:00:05.000 This song is also from the cycle written in the voice of an idiot. 00:00:07.500 --> 00:00:15.700 Now I've coddled my marxist scholastically, Even gleaning the meaning of periods; 00:00:15.700 --> 00:00:23.400 Keeping close to the commas, not like numbskulls do, Studied "Capital" and "Anti-During" too. 00:00:23.400 --> 00:00:31.350 Unabashed by my vast masculinity, I've dressed as the spectre for festivals; 00:00:31.350 --> 00:00:38.500 Everywhere, both out loud and in writing too, I've declared the whole shooting match right and true, 00:00:38.500 --> 00:00:46.700 No ifs and buts, no ifs and buts, no ifs and buts, Maybe I'm nuts, but who's not nuts? So you're not nuts! 00:00:47.500 --> 00:00:54.200 But I'll tell you what happened some days ago: I decided to buy a new radio. 00:00:54.200 --> 00:01:00.900 And on my day off for an hour or so Settled down to give ear to the orchestra. 00:01:00.900 --> 00:01:08.100 They were playing that what-d'you-call opera Where Carmen gives her man the old heave-ho, 00:01:08.100 --> 00:01:15.400 And after we'd had Escamilio-- Heard a surname that sounded familio, 00:01:15.400 --> 00:01:24.140 Now what the deuce, now what the deuce, now what the deuce? So who's amused, I'm not amused, are you amused? 00:01:24.600 --> 00:01:31.950 The announcer said "Citizen (naming me) Your old auntie has died in Fingalia, 00:01:31.950 --> 00:01:38.300 And for you an appointment is imminent-- Foreign Office (Department Juridical)!" 00:01:38.300 --> 00:01:47.700 I was on my hind legs like a stallion-- Keep it down, for Pete's sake put a sock in it! 00:01:47.700 --> 00:01:54.550 It's a subject that's always a tricky one-- It's not marxist, not one little bit it ain't! 00:01:54.550 --> 00:02:03.470 Disgrace and shame, disgrace and shame, disgrace and shame, And when I'd nearly made my name! You've made your name? 00:02:04.500 --> 00:02:11.800 I was tossing and turning the whole night through. That old bag of an auntie had cooked my goose! 00:02:11.800 --> 00:02:20.000 And the missus was weeping and worrying. Maybe Stalin's passed on, but you never know! 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:28.300 Packed my bag-soap and towel and underpants, If they kept me I'd not have to go without! 00:02:28.300 --> 00:02:34.700 When I got there, my guts were all jellified. But they treated me just like a gentleman! 00:02:34.700 --> 00:02:42.940 Ha-ha, clap-clap, ha-ha, clap-clap, ha-ha, clap-clap, But I just stood and shut my trap. You've shut your trap? 00:02:43.340 --> 00:02:50.000 The first thing we had was a conference, They read my aunt's last will and testament 00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:56.800 "I, the undersigned (surname and christian name). Being of sound mind and body, et cetera, 00:02:56.800 --> 00:03:04.650 Do bequeath all my land and the factory --Not to hubby (that shit of a lady's man)-- 00:03:04.650 --> 00:03:11.500 Let my favorite nephew, Volodechka, Have the lot, and I wish him a lot of luck!" 00:03:11.500 --> 00:03:19.540 I don't mind that, I don't mind that, I don't mind that! It looks as if I'll pack my bag! You've packed your bag? 00:03:21.000 --> 00:03:30.650 Well, that Friday I got to the offices. Told the bosses just where they could stuff the thing; 00:03:30.650 --> 00:03:40.100 Says I, nice t'have made your acquaintances, But I don't need your fiddling pittance now! 00:03:40.100 --> 00:03:46.600 And I went on the booze the whole weekend through, Little nap, and straight back on the booze again, 00:03:46.600 --> 00:03:53.000 And I toasted my motherland (ex-, that is), And my auntie's eternal memory. 00:03:53.000 --> 00:04:01.500 I swilled and swilled, then got the bill, then got the bill; Don't want the score, I want some more! You want some more? 00:04:02.200 --> 00:04:09.530 In the name of my dear late lamented aunt, Blued the last I'd got left in my bank account; 00:04:09.530 --> 00:04:16.820 So I got up to go, but my drinking mates To a man they all reached for their pocketbooks, 00:04:16.820 --> 00:04:25.150 "Oh, come on now, you treasure, you lovely man, Go ahead and permit us to loan you some! 00:04:25.150 --> 00:04:33.420 We can settle up later all friendly-like, You can send us a bit of your leftovers." 00:04:33.420 --> 00:04:44.000 So that's the way. I thank you all! I thank you all! I'll send you all some foreign clothes! You'll get some clothes! 00:04:45.700 --> 00:04:52.100 Well, I borrowed a thousand all told, I did. Pay you back? Lord be praised, I'm not short of it! 00:04:52.100 --> 00:04:58.800 And that thou. went right down, with my compliments-- And the restaurant started to stomp, oh yes, 00:04:58.800 --> 00:05:06.300 That nice bass-player gave me his bow to wear, And we drank top-class booze, not the ordinary; 00:05:06.300 --> 00:05:13.900 And a couple of ladies, all permed and set, Kept on saying that I was their precious pet. 00:05:13.900 --> 00:05:20.780 We drank all day, we drank all night, another night, Well, I don't mind, and you don't mind, we all don't mind. 00:05:20.780 --> 00:05:27.000 That whole week from Sunday to Sunday night, We were having a really fantastic time, 00:05:27.000 --> 00:05:33.160 It was Monday before I came back to earth, And I sat down to look at a telly show, 00:05:33.160 --> 00:05:41.200 The announcer droned on about progress made In the Soviet conquest of outer space,-- 00:05:41.200 --> 00:05:48.600 And then: "Now the news from abroad. Revolution in Fingalia! 00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:52.350 The first decree of the people's government enacts the total nationalization 00:05:52.350 --> 00:05:58.710 of land, factories, railways and all other industrial enterprises. 00:05:58.710 --> 00:06:06.150 The peoples of the Soviet Union send greetings to the fraternal people of Fingalia 00:06:06.150 --> 00:06:09.100 and congratulate them on their magnificent victory!" 00:06:11.200 --> 00:06:23.000 The sight of the screen made me want to spew, What in hell do you mean, it's all nationalized?! 00:06:23.000 --> 00:06:30.500 "It's ours," it belongs to my aunt and me, That's why I was off to Fingalia! 00:06:30.500 --> 00:06:37.800 You're a bunch of old rogues and clever dicks: And it's all got to do with your marxist tricks! 00:06:37.800 --> 00:06:46.200 There's no tale in the world that's sadder Than the story of surplus value! 00:06:46.200 --> 00:06:59.640 I've had enough. I've had enough, I've had enough! And now I'm absolutely nuts! But who's not nuts?!